Saturday, 7 June 2008


Just a reminder to folks out there that I am freelance auctioneer and always interested in work.

I have conducted over 2,000 auctions in almost every category under the sun. While I have mostly specialised in antiques and collectables, I have done property, land lettings, hay and produce, saddles and tack, cars and even gold auctions. I once conducted an auction literally from the back of a truck! Goods advertised had been delayed in traffic and there was no time to unload, so I just sold from the tailboard as the items were being unpacked. Another time the lights failed in the middle of a night auction. As luck would have it there was a box of torches in the auction, so while the auction owner was looking for an electrician, I carried on the auction with a torch in one hand and the gavel in the other. On yet another occasion, the whole staff forgot to turn up, so I conducted the auction, did the clerking, acted as porter and did the accounts. It was a small auction of around 150 lots, but was still tricky having to hold up the goods, do the selling and writing the buyer number and hammer price.

I have also conducted hundreds of charity auctions. I love doing these as you don’t need to do the same speed as at a commercial auction so there is more time to enjoy yourself and drag out the money in a good atmosphere. The biggest one that I ever conducted was in a colossal marquee in Wandsworth Park. There were probably over 1,000 people present with a door price of £100 each. It was so big that we could not see to the back of the marquee, so we had staff with light sabres strategically stationed. Comedian Ben Elton was my warm-up act. He complimented me after the sale on my selling and speaking ability. From a motormouth like him, it was quite a compliment. The first item sold was £15,000. It was a trip to Hawaii and island hopping for 14 days. The second lot was a day on a coastguard cutter chasing smugglers. That made £800.

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